Stagehands...

Thursday, I spoke at a conference sponsored by Gift of Hope… It was a collaborative conference titled, “Connecting the Dots… Hospitals in Action.”

At these gatherings, we’re speaking to people who touch lives, and save lives… There were dozens of people from Gift of Hope there – and a few hundred people from hospitals all over Illinois and Indiana… People from ICUs, surgical and medical ICUs, ERs and trauma centers – a lot of nurses and chaplains – a lot of people who deal with families in crisis… They deal with families who will likely have the opportunity to donate…

At these conferences, they often have a donor family member and recipient telling their story… I had the honor of speaking with Tim Joos – a donor Dad who lost his precious daughter, Samantha, five years ago. I’ve partnered with Tim before and I posted about that back in July in a piece titled Samantha…

I think that, more often, Tim speaks to “regular” folks and students – his presentation is powerful… And after asking the question, “what would you do with your body?” he shows us what his beautiful, precious daughter wanted. And he showed this group how special it is to know some good came out of a heartbreaking tragedy.

There’s a part of me that knows that I should be telling “regular” people about Kari – but I tend to do that more on a one-on-one basis… I do that when I have the opportunity to start a conversation, or start small talk, that turns into much more than “small talk” when I find any lead in to tell them about Kari and the gift she gave me… Someone only has to ask, “Where ya from?!?” The answer always starts with, “Part of me is from Iowa…”

After Tim told them about Samantha – I got to tell them about Kari. I often start by reading Jenn’s poem – to give them an image of Kari through the eyes of one of her friends – just to set the mood, for both me and them… And then I tell them what she did for me, and how I feel about Kari and her family and friends… I hope that Tim and I show them why they do what they do…

These are people who work to save our lives…

So many of them are dealing with the painful side of organ donation – they’re caring for potential donors in trauma centers, ERs, ICUs, MICUs, SICUs… They may have just lost a patient – but they’re continuing to care for them because they know that person and their family may have the opportunity to save another life – or two, or three, or seven – and help countless others with tissue donation.

I haven’t met many nurses, or medical personnel, who don’t care deeply for the patients they watch over, or the families of those patients… I don’t know what it’s like to lose a patient – but I know it’s not easy. For so many of them – they only experience the dying and giving side of organ donation. I hope I showed some of them the receiving and living side of organ donation… I hope I showed them how amazing this gift truly is…

I have a lot of friends who have spent time on that side – my nurse Penny, who I adore, worked for Gift of Hope approaching donor families – my friend TC over at donorcycle did as well… TC wrote the most beautiful thing I’ve ever read about Kari, that also touched on the sometimes-complicated path to organ donation. TC came out to climb the Hancock with me last year… I’ll adore TC forever too.

For almost 40 years before my transplant, I’d spent so much time in hospitals – in my late teen years through most of my adult life, I spent 7 to 10 days once, sometimes twice yearly because of my cystic fibrosis for my “tune-ups” – along with a number of more critical stays… Over the years, those stays were at four major medical centers. I’ve been in emergency rooms, the ICU, the MICU, and regular rooms. And I’ve had so many nurses & doctors & therapists & techs & housekeepers take such good care of me… I wish I could find every single one and give them a hug and show them how alive I am now… And let them know that they had a hand in keeping me alive. I’m sure a lot of them, if they remember me at all, think I’m long gone. I’m not long gone – because of them.

I know I’m also “not long gone” because of Kari – and she is always on my mind… But they took care of me… They carried me to her door.

I can’t thank all of them because I can’t find all of them… But when I get to speak to a group like this – I’m thanking all of them vicariously through the group I’m talking to… And I’m thanking the group I’m talking to on behalf of all of the people who didn’t get the chance…

Here is a draft of my presentation (Word doc)...  When I get to speak to hospital and OPO folks, I usually slip this little thought into my presentation:

Take a look at her – isn’t she beautiful?!?! Well, take a look at my face now! These cheeks are a lot fatter than they once were – and a lot happier. I would not have “met” Kari if it weren’t for people like you… I think about that… I think about the people who took care of me for so many years – I also think about the people who took care of Kari, the people who tested, and kept her organs viable… The surgical teams who were with her – and with me… The people who tissue typed her kidneys… The folks who processed the mountains of paperwork... It’s just an incredible dance of life, brought to me by a beautiful girl, and an incredible family – and a group of dedicated and caring stagehands like so many of you…

We had the honor of speaking to a lot of stagehands on Thursday…